RENEWED HOPE- A SHORT STORY

Valsala Menon

Vibha stood by the window fiddling on her sari. She was in a daze, thinking back to her luncheon with her old school mate Jyothi.

Vibha had found her long lost best friend from school Jyothi on Face book, and immediately they had connected, exchanged numbers and promised to meet. Surprisingly enough, Jyothi was in the same city as she was, and they  had arranged to meet up the very next day for lunch.

Vibha had dressed in a simple yet graceful kurti and jeans and had arrived early to meet Jyothi at her favorite eat out in the city.

“Wow! Vibha, you seem to grow gorgeous with age! “– smiled Jyothi as she hugged Vibha. Jyothi had trooped in unobserved and had given her a shock by exclaiming thus.

Vibha smiled back placidly; Jyothi looked the same, but over the years, her graceful slender figure had rounded out and she looked every bit a motherly matron, even though she still displayed a grace and elegance in her style. After exchanging pleasantries, both of them launched into animated conversation, catching up with all the news over the years. Jyothi had given up teaching to be a full time wife and mom, and while Vibha had held down several jobs, she was yet to catch up on her dream….

As Vibha gently tasted her dessert, she caught Jyothi looking wistfully at her.” Vibha, do you realize how pretty you are? More pretty than you were back at college; your eyes still have the same sparkle and your face radiates the same innocence.”

Much to Jyothi’s horror, Vibha‘s lovely eyes welled up in tears.

“What happened, Vibha? Did I say something wrong? “

“No Jyothi, let’s go, I need to get back home.”

They paid their bill and walked back home in silence. “I will call you in a while, Jyothi, please, I am upset. You know I have never been pretty; you are just being kind to me. Please don’t be. I know what I am. “

Jyothi looked at her in surprise.” Vibha, don’t tell me that even after all these years, you haven’t gotten over what your mom said long back!”

Vibha couldn’t speak, she knew that if she continued to linger, she would break down in loud sobs. She just hailed down a nearby cab and got into it and hurried away, leaving Jyothi standing at the kerb.

Vibha got back home and cried her heart out.

It was all because of her mother. Her thoughts went back to the day when she was  13 years old. She had just got back from school and noticed that her mom was busy folding a brand new silk sari.

“Wow! Whose is that? Amma, is it yours? New sari?”- Vibha asked in wide eyed innocence.

“No, not mine; Shubha is getting married, right? Lakshmi Aunty brought it for her.” Vibha‘s sister Shubha was engaged to be married. There was an 11 year gap between the sisters, and while Vibha was a thin and gawky teenager, Shubha was in the prime of her youth and considered the ‘beauty’ of the family. Lakshmi, her mom’s aunt had just gifted Shubha with a lovely Kanchipuram sari.

“Oh! Why dint Lakshmi aunty bring me something too? She always does.”- pouted Vibha.

“Why on earth should Lakshmi aunty get you anything at all? Do you deserve anything? Look at you! Scrawny rat! Compared to Shubha, you are nothing! She is so pretty, while you look like a scrawny spider!”

Vibha stood rooted to the spot, shocked beyond measure. She gazed at herself in the mirror, and found her mom to be true. Yes, she was all angles, while her lovely sister was curvaceous and graceful. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she wept her heart out.

It was only to her best friend Jyothi did she confide about her mom, and her very unkind remark.

Years later, Vibha had grown into a slender graceful woman, with lovely dark eyes and a beatific smile, but her mother’s words continued to mar and blind her vision to the truth. She continued through college without ever allowing herself to fall in love. She had internalized her mother’s opinion and continued to live through it.

Vibha got married eventually to a journalist, and she too was a gifted writer. It was her pet dream to be a recognized writer of renown and pen down her own novels but something kept holding her back from accomplishing her dream.

Jyothi did not contact her over the weekend. On Monday morning, Vibha had a call from Jyothi.

“Vibha, I am coming over. We need to talk”.

At 11, her doorbell rang and Vibha smilingly opened the door to her best friend.

“Get dressed. We are going out”- Jyothi

“Where to?”-queried Vibha in surprise.

“Hmm, to exorcise some of your ghosts. Come on, hurry up… I am gonna take you to a friend of mine.”

Jyothi gave no time for Vibha to protest. She bundled her into her car and drove down to Jyothi’s friend Anita’s place.

“Anita is a clinical psychologist, Vibha, and a close friend of mine. I have spoken to her about you, and how you need to get over your mother’s comments long back. It’s hampering you, Vibha.”- Jyoti

Vibha felt suddenly light and relieved at the same time. She had needed help but now she was happy that her best friend had initiated the process.

 Anita looked just like anybody’s friendly neighbor, and after serving cups of hot tea, Anita invited Vibha to her room.

“Vibha, you seem to  be a very nice person. Jyothi told me that it’s your greatest dream to be a writer. I know too that you have enrolled for a creative writing course with a foreign university. Tell me, I am your friend. Shall we talk? Just think of me as a friend and keep talking.”

Anita gazed at Vibha with so much compassion and understanding, that Vibha could hardly prevent her tears from flowing unhindered. All her pent up feelings and frustration and the layers of hurt that had accumulated deep within her as a child welled up  in tears and amidst crying, she managed to talk and let the past flow out of her .

After an hour, Anita smiled down at her kindly.

“Vibha, you need to bury the past. For your own good, forgive your mom and let go. I know that it was a very unkind and thoughtless remark that your mom made, , but internalizing it has prevented you from growing as a person, as a writer. I know you write well, I have read several of your blog posts on FB. Jyothi sent me the link. What you need to do, is to get to work on your self esteem. Believe that you do not need any body’s approval. All the approval you need is from yourself.

Remember, you are not the thin gawky teenager you were so many years ago. Now you are a matured and graceful young woman, with a family of your own. Next time someone compliments you, accept it. Just say, Thank you.

Now I want you to write your mom’s hurtful comments on a piece of paper and before you leave this place, burn that piece of paper.  Let go. Forgive your Mom as the paper burns

Go home, and work on your writing. Believe in your heart that you are born to be a great novelist. Good luck”- Anita hugged her while seeing Vibha off

Vibha made up her mind to do as she was instructed and for the first time in years, she felt light. Jyothi drove her back to her apartment, and while getting out, Vibha hugged Jyothi and whispered a tearful ‘thank you”.

“Don’t thank me, pretty lady, go work on your dreams. Let me see your short story in print”- grinned Jyothi.

Vibha smiled back happily and Jyothi drove back home feeling relieved that Vibha was on the right track after all. She was letting go of those hurtful comments.

Two months later, Jyothi received a call. It was from Vibha.

“Jyothi, can you believe this? I am getting my first book of short stories published, by Random House.!And one of my short stories has been selected for the Chicken Soup series.” Vibha’s voice displayed her emotions.

“Wow! Great news Vibha! I am so happy for you. Let’s celebrate. I am coming right over”

Vibha was waiting with her husband at the gates of the apartment, as Jyothi drove down. She got down and hugged Vibha.

“I have dedicated my book to you, Jyothi. If not for you, I wouldn’t have penned all this down “- happy tears glistened in Vibha’s eyes, and it was all Jyothi could do to hug her tightly.

Vibha was now truly flying high on the wings of self confidence and renewed hope.